Tag Archives: Friends

TD1’s Truly Outrageous 6th Birthday

Yesterday, TD1 turned six and we celebrated with  a Jem and the Holograms themed birthday party. Party guests received “VIP Passes” and were encouraged to wear their best rockstar gear. It was “Truly Outrageous!” That phrase might be stuck in my head for a while now.

TD1 was very adamant about inviting her entire class and all her friends, so we had a huge party with our family and her friends from church and school. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that meant LOTS of kids. As the days fast approached, I could feel my anxiety exploding inside of me. Would I be able to handle so many kids in one place at one time? Will everyone get along okay? Is it going to be awkward having a party at the church? Did I invite everyone I was supposed to? Are we going to be able to pull this off in two hours? What am I forgetting? What can I delegate? Who can I ask for help? What am I forgetting? Am I crazy for doing this? What am I forgetting? I made checklists and sticky notes and notes inside apps and I still couldn’t stop the spiral.

Momfession: I wanted to cancel the party. Our life right now has been disrupted in quite a few ways (good, bad and just is-what-it-is), and we’re trying to adjust to a new normal. But TD1 asked for this party. It’s all she wanted for her birthday. She’s been so excited, helping me create the invitations, pick out pictures and costumes and giving her input along the way. This was her party. So as much as I wanted to throw in the towel, my mom heart wouldn’t let me. I’m glad too. Seeing the smile on her face throughout the day made it all worth it. A very special thank you to everyone that helped with the planning, implementation and cleanup and to everyone that came out to celebrate with us. YOU GUYS ROCK!!!

The night before her big day, we were getting ready for bed and I was giving my usual hugs and kisses when it hit me. Tomorrow, I will no longer have a five-year-old. She will be six.

T-Mommy: This is your last hug as a five-year-old. Tomorrow, you’ll be six. How does it feel?
TD1: Good and confusing.
T-Mommy: Why confusing?
TD1: Because it came too fast.
T-Mommy: I feel the same way. *super big hug*

Yes, six came waaaayyy too fast. In a matter of weeks, TD1 lost her first two teeth and celebrated another birthday. She’s planning sleepovers with her classmates, talking to me about babies being born, natural disasters and people dying, trying to read everything, and having an opinion about everything. I’m watching her use her reasoning and deduction skills, practice running and exercise moves so she can be better and faster, and become more self-aware. She’s really practicing listening to her body and knowing what she needs emotionally, physically and mentally. She’s stepping up to look out for her sister. She’s being an all-around awesome human. I wish I could say it was all me and T-Daddy, but it’s not. TD1 has an awesome community of adults and children that love her and are helping to encourage awesome character traits and beliefs. The same goes for TD2. And it’s never been more evident than these last few weeks leading up to her big day.

Six isn’t a milestone birthday (unless it’s a golden birthday), but somehow this birthday seemed to be a huge milestone birthday for us. It was like a unique rite of passage for TD1. One that is a tinge bittersweet, yet abundantly joyous.

T-Talks: Crush

TD1 is in a Pre-K/K mixed class, so imagine my surprise when after school, the following convo took place:

TD1: Mommy, Ariel* and Belle* have a crush on Charming*.
T-Mommy: Oh really, and how do you know that?
TD1: I don’t know.
T-Mommy: Do you know what a crush is?
TD1: No.
T-Mommy: So how do you know that they have something if you don’t know what that something is?
*a minute of going back and forth*
TD1: Okay, I do know. I just didn’t want to tell you in case you would be mad.
T-Mommy: Okay, so what do you know?
TD1: I know they have a crush on Charming because Ariel and Belle always tell Charming “I love you” and Aurora* told me they have a crush on Charming.
T-Mommy: And what does that mean? Do you know what it means to have a crush on someone?
TD1: It means you love them.


Are we there yet? I thought I had at least another 100 years before we were there. Why are we there already? Also, I googled crush and Google’s definition did NOT make this convo any easier…..we’ll go with when you like someone a lot as opposed to “a brief but intense infatuation for someone, especially someone unattainable or inappropriate.” That’s way too many big girl emotions I’m not ready for. Can we just go back to the days of cooing and baby gibberish?

*names have been changed to protect the innocent because who doesn’t love Disney characters.

“Can I Have Your Kids?”

“What are you guys doing this weekend?”
“Nothing, what’sup?”
“Can I have your kids?”
“Huh what?”
“For a sleepover. Tiana* has been asking to have a play date with the girls and since we can’t get our schedules to line up, I thought this would be perfect.”

And just like that, TD1 and TD2 were invited to their first non-familial sleepover. My first thought was “Ummm we’ll pass on that.” No offense to our friend, but I’m just barely comfortable with our family taking the girls, I wasn’t ready for someone outside the family. Had she offered to babysit for a few hours, we would have gladly taken her up on that, but a whole night away? Yeah, I wasn’t sure about that. I’m sure she could sense the uneasiness over the phone because she did in fact offer to have us just come over for a few hours so the girls could hang out.

can-i-have-your-kidsT-Daddy hung up the phone and we didn’t speak on it. For the first time, I was actually glad because I needed time to process my feelings. This was an acquired friend through T-Daddy and one thing that I’ve learned, especially since raising kids, is that no matter how close or cool both sides are with each other, when there’s opposition, lines are clearly drawn: His Side/Her Side. My uneasiness didn’t have anything to do with who was asking, it was what was being asked. But I didn’t want her to take it personal, to think that I didn’t want her keeping my kids. I mean I have only had limited interactions with her in the parenting arena, so I had questions about her parenting beliefs and methods and how that would align or clash with our own, but that wasn’t personal. I have a relationship with her, we get along, we’re a lot alike in many aspects. But still, I’ve been down that road before and I know when someone thinks it’s personal, none of that other stuff matters. I didn’t want that battle, not when she was trying to do something nice for my kids.

But I still had questions. Not just about her and her household, but what was expected of T-Daddy and I. What were we supposed to do to prepare? So I Googled. I read a dozen or so articles on sleepovers. What’s the appropriate age? What am I supposed to do? What do I tell the girls? T-Daddy gave me a few days before he brought it up and I was ready. I had an answer for him. I let him tell me what he thought and then I told him what I thought. We were pretty much on the same page. He shared the same uneasiness that I felt about her not being family. (Not that that matters, but this was still new territory for us and we went through the same thing with each family member that kept the girls for the first time.) Our girls are a ball of non-stop energy and having them around other people usually gives us both anxiety. Having them around someone that’s never been around them without us, well that’s full-blown anxiety attack.

On the flip side, T-Daddy and I desperately want our friends to be more involved in the parenting side of our life. It’s extremely difficult to keep the two separate and our friends without kids sometimes don’t get it. Sure, partying and all that is great, but for us, so is trips to the park and watching our kids react to the world around them. And we want our kids to be friends with our friends’ kids. That can’t happen if we never hang out with them with the kids. Also, we want to have someone that can take the kids off our hands to allow us a date night. In one phone call, we were being offered all of that – “come hang out with me and my daughter and then leave your children so you can have a date night.”

So we came up with a list of important things, we thought she should know: TD1 doesn’t like fish, but TD2 loves bread; our discipline routine, bedtime routines, etc. And then we told the girls. Big mistake. TD1 asked me about the sleepover every day. Then she told every one about the sleepover, including her teachers.

Finally, Sleepover Day had arrived. The TDs were excited. I was nervous. I didn’t want to drop off and run, but I didn’t want to linger too long. They were excited now, but would they freak out the minute the door closed behind us? I thought I was ready, but was I really? What if Tiana’s mom quickly realized that she didn’t want to keep the girls. This was turning out to be a high-pressure situation and a reminder that my girls are growing up faster than I’m ready for.

We arrived and the girls instantly started playing together. We hung around for a while before leaving to enjoy our gifted date night. The girls barely batted an eye when we left. T-Daddy and I received snaps (direct picture and video messages sent through Snapchat) throughout the night and the next morning, which I really appreciated because I like photo and video evidence of the TDs experiencing life and new experiences. When we picked them up, TD1 and Tiana were already planning a Part Two of the sleepover. We promised she could sleepover at our house next, and the whole car ride home, TD1 was planning her sleepover with “The Tianas.” (We know two girls the same age with the same name and the TDs are crazy about both of them.)

And just like that, the girls had not only survived, but thoroughly enjoyed, their first sleepover. T-Daddy and I did too. Then, we made good on our promise and hosted a sleepover at our place. And now, “sleepover” is some new buzzword.

Thanks Tiana’s mom! I think you started something.

*Since I went with a Disney princess in “TD1 and the Super Straight Hair,” I decided to stick with tradition and go with another beloved Disney princess.

Help!! I Need PPE!

cakeSo it’s happened. My big girl has gone and gotten all big girl on me. I mean she’s a preschooler and she has *gasp* friends.

No, I’m not talking about her cousin friends. I mean friends that have no relational ties to me or T-Daddy. Friends with parents that I do not previously know. Friends who I don’t even know what they look like because they are her classmates. And, by the time we pick her up, some of them have already been picked up themselves.

One of these said friends have invited her to a birthday party. And, she’s super excited to go. In fact, she makes me read the invitation daily, and, at one point, insisted on holding it for every car ride.

    Two problems:

  1. I don’t know all the kids in her class yet, so I’m not sure which girl sent the invite.
  2. This is the first party that TD1 has been invited to as TD1 and not 1/4 of T4.

So my question is:

What’s the PPE, or proper party etiquette, in this situation??

Is there a wrong or right way to find out which child sent the invite? Are there certain things I should not do to avoid looking like a creepy stalker parent?

I’m actually okay with TD1 having a solo invite and doing things without TD2. What I struggle with is the logistics of said things. The day of the party (like everyday in our life) is a pretty busy one for T4:

  1. We are triple-booked for events (including this party).
  2. I also have some personal business that I need to tend to that morning, and T4 may or may not already be with me.
  3. We have something to do immediately following the party, which may require us dropping the kids to a babysitter.
  4. The time that will be spent traveling to the party, back home to pick up TD2 and whoever stays with her, possibly to the babysitter, and then to the function, just isn’t time-efficient.
  5. We only have one car.
  6. TD1 is dead set on going to this party.

So how do I handle that? Do I say no to one of the things that we’re booked for? And, how do I decide what gets declined? The party is at a children’s playhouse type of place, so is it rude – in the interest of convenience and time – to show up with all of T4? Even if only TD1 partakes in the party festivities and TD2 is off somewhere else?

Surely, this won’t be the last PPE crisis I deal with.

Help PLEASE!!!

Treasure Today