Tag Archives: Joys of Mommydom

The Adventures of TD1 in Invisible World: Healthy Food and Allergies

One day TD1 came up to me and told me that I wasn’t her real mom. Her real mom (Invisible Mom) lived in her Invisible World and TD1 came here through her Invisible Mirror. In Invisible World, TD1 is really 8 years old (coming through the Invisible Mirror made her 4.5), and things are quite different than they are here in the real world. These are TD1’s adventures as told by her.

Invisible World as drawn by TD1

In my Invisible World, everyone only eats candy and fish because that’s all that’s healthy there. But I’m allergic to fish, so I can’t eat it. Everyone else eats it though. I just eat candy because that’s all that’s healthy in my Invisible World. I’m only allergic to big fish though, so if my Invisible Mom cuts it into really small pieces I can eat it. I’m not allergic to small fish, just the big fish and I really like it in my Invisible World.”

Potty Chronicles: Self-Trained

A while back, T-Daddy and I decided that the time had come for us to be consistent in our potty training of TD2. The problem is that our lives and our schedules are usually pretty inconsistent.

Luckily, last Saturday, one of us got a break and was able to stay home* with the girls all day. During this time, TD2 decided she wanted to start taking herself to the potty.

Fast forward 24 hours and TD2 is taking her pull-up off, sitting on the potty, wiping herself and enthusiastically running bare-bottom through the house, yelling “I poo in potty day!!!!!”**

One weekend and she’s self-trained herself. I don’t know whether to be proud or worried. Or both. She’s apparently even smarter than we already suspected.

*By home, I mean at someone else’s house with an accessible children’s potty, where obviously our children feel free enough to run around like they pay the mortgage.

**Translation: I peed in the potty today!

This-A Make-A Me Happy

Dinner time with T4 and here’s why:

Since I went back to work 2.5 years ago, I have struggled with my decision to do so. It was always my dream to be a stay-at-home mom. I wanted to raise my kids and give them the solid foundation they needed. I wanted to invest wholeheartedly in them. I didn’t want them to feel that anyone or thing came before them. I didn’t wanna be that workaholic who missed those treasured moments.

Then I got pregnant unplanned. And people talked. And the joy I was supposed to feel was replaced with this ever-burning need to prove myself.

→Prove that my innocent child wasn’t ruining my life.
→Prove that I wasn’t just some non-contributing member of my family laying around, waiting for Todd to take care of me. (Man, the way some people talk about stay-at-home moms is heartbreaking, to say the least.)
→Prove that I wasn’t a failure at life.
→Prove that I could take care of this little person that I had brought into the world despite being told to do otherwise.

So, I went back to work. I had this child that I did not plan, but that was not going to stop me from giving her the world that I wanted her to have. It would just have to be modified.

☆★I want to stop here and say that Todd was 100% on board with whichever decision I made – stay at home or go back to work – so long as our bills were paid. And, our bills would be paid if I stayed at home, but that’s all. There would be no saving, no room for growth. And, if something happened to Todd, I’d be in no position to carry us.★☆

So I went back to work, so we could give our daughter the childhood we wanted her to have. Only I felt like I was failing her. Our commute made for long days and I’d come home tired, then had to cook and off to bed she went. Our only “time” together was in the car.

Even after having another child and going through the routine a second time, I still hadn’t figured it out. I wasn’t giving my children the time and piece of me that I felt they deserved. Rolls on the floor and dance parties were reserved for Saturday’s. There was little time to just sit in the amazingness that is them. Because there’s always something to do.

Then we moved and bought a dining table. And BAM! Instant family time.

This little piece of furniture has added so much to my life in the past month. We went from eating in front of a Netflix-playing TV, not saying one word to each other to sitting around a table talking to each other. And, I love every minute of it. I suddenly feel like I’ve gained extra time with my daughters.

And the best part? Temi insists on leading us in grace every meal.

To keep this little piece of happiness, our table is a device-free zone during meals. No phones, iPad, TV or laptop.

And, this-a make-a me happy! ♡♥

*Don’t mind the shirtless girl who wants her “shirt off like Daddy!”

Sister, Sister

Like I’m sure most moms do, I often sit back and stare in awe at my children. I’m not afraid to admit that I’m that mom that thinks I should call the 9 o’clock news because Tové just looked at me and smiled the biggest, most heartwarming smile. Or because Tempess has completely rewritten the words to Up, Up High (that’s Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star for all the nonfans that haven’t bought her CD yet).
But I digress.
So in true mommydom nature, I was staring at my girls, watching them play together. Before I knew it, I was back in my childhood, watching all of my favorite TV friends go through life with their twin sister by their side and thinking how awesome it would be if I had one of those too. 
In all of our pre-baby, pregnancy chaos, we definitely wanted a boy, so we could be done. So we’d have society’s perfect pair of kids. Society’s perfect family of four. But watching Tempess and Tové play together, I was reminded of how I felt growing up sisterless. God has given both of them the perfect gift – a lifelong friend. Someone they can go through life with, side-by-side.
Tempess is still working to understand the concept of sisterdom, and that she’s a big sister. But she does know No Mommy. Baby Sister. Me Tempess.
And she taught Tové to crawl to her, which Tové did giggling and smiling the entire time. And they cannot stand being away from each other, both girls crawling over me and Todd to smell what the other just ate as they lay nose to nose and have giggle wars.
Watching Tempess openly embrace her role as big sister, eager to share her vast knowledge of the world with Tové, warms my heart in ways I’ve never known before.
Don’t get me wrong. Tempess is quick to tell me Mommy, Baby down, so that I can give her whatever it is she wants at the moment – dancing with her, food, kisses, more food. But as soon as that momentary desire has been met, she’s back in Tové’s face, singing Sister, Sister.

Why Can’t It Be Easy?

About a month or two ago, Todd and I got into a huge argument, and after we both had calmed down, we tried to restore some normalcy to our relationship and routine. The problem was that the issue that caused the argument in the first place still had not been resolved. We spent the next few weeks avoiding the elephant in the room until it grew so big we could barely fit in the room with it.

I was ready to attack the elephant and reclaim my living space, but Todd wasn’t. And then I persuaded him to address it before it reached the point of no return he was. So we sat down and we had a long, overdue discussion about us. Our issues. Our fears. Our doubts. He went first, telling me his biggest issues with the relationship. And I listened, asking permission to speak to make sure I didn’t cut him off. I responded to his issues, explaining things that he didn’t understand. Then, I went. And he did the same. And throughout the conversation, we both acknowledged where we were wrong and agreed to work on those things that bothered the other. And in those areas where we could see the other person’s side, but didn’t totally agree that we were wrong or they were right, we did the unthinkable – we came up with a mutually satisfying compromise.

And together, we decided to move forward. The End.

Only, a few days later, I couldn’t help but feel like it wasn’t the end. It was too easy. We both took the high road and handled the entire conversation with class and maturity and worked together to make sure both of our needs were going to be met moving forward. Yet, somehow I still felt unsettled. Maybe I should have yelled, or put my foot down more. Why did I agree to compromise? He’s going to think he can walk all over me now. No, I didn’t have a particular issue that I felt I was too easy on him with. I just couldn’t believe the conversation went so well. And then, I caught myself. Why can’t it be easy? Who says that relationships have to be hard? If we both have the same endgame in mind, why can’t we work together to get there? Why does it have to be a Me vs. Him scenario?

I am extremely proud of how we handled a delicate and difficult situation. I hope that we continue to handle future situations like this. I hope that we can continue to grow and mature as individuals and a couple and reach a point where we are teammates and not competitors. We are in this for the long haul, and how much easier and more fun it will be if we are side by side for the journey of parenthood instead of at each other’s throats.

So, why can’t it be easy? Because it definitely doesn’t have to be hard.

The Joys of Mommydom

☆★Today’s post is Day 12 of the #31WriteNow blog challenge. I’m posting a new entry every day for the month of August★☆

My alarm went off this morning, and like 95% of y’all out there, I dismissed it. Skip snooze. I wanted more than an extra 10-15 minutes. I NEED IT.

Unfortunately, I have another alarm that I can’t set or snooze. So at 5:30 a.m., Tové woke me screaming at the top of her lungs.

Ugh! Why is she up so early?

I went and got her from the crib, came back to the bed and started feeding her.

Maybe she’ll go back to sleep and I can get a few more minutes in.

I looked down and I was met with the BIGGEST smile ever. Who needs Folgers when you have 11 lbs and 2 dimples of genuine giggles and coos? All of a sudden, I was no longer frustrated, irritated or tired. (Too bad that all wore off as soon as I got in the car.) For about 20 minutes, it was just me and Tové and nothing else mattered.

These are the moments that make mommydom worth it.