“[When are you gonna learn, you can’t] keep trying to save a brother that don’t wanna be saved.”
I don’t know why this line stuck out to me, but ever since I first saw Jason’s Lyric, it did. And since then I’ve quoted it countless times – to family, to friends, to myself.
Today is one of those days where I need to say it to myself again. I’m surrounded by people that need to be saved but for one reason or another they don’t want to be and it hurts.
I have super high expectations for the people that I choose to allow in my life. For those people that I have no choice, there are a select few that I hold in high regards. For all the jokes and $h!t talking that goes on in my family, I come from a lot of talented individuals – I have people that have recorded multiple hit records, went on tours, rapped and sang with celebrities, owned successful businesses, played pro sports, became successful career people, taught celebrities, have amazing singing/writing/acting skills, could’ve owned their own restaurant, etc. There’s a lot to be proud of in my family.
These great people bred great people. Unfortunately, I got to watch so much of that greatness die by the wayside. It’s disheartening. But really it’s heartbreaking to watch someone you love, someone with such great greatness, destroy themselves. And lately, it seems like the people that I care about a lot are getting destroyed and it’s hard to pretend like I don’t care or that I’m not affected.
I’m all about accountability and consequences for your actions. It’s hard to have sympathy for someone that put themselves in a bad situation, no matter how jacked up it gets. But at the same time, I want better for them. Why? Because I know they’re capable of better. I want to remove them from the situation they’re in. I want to remove all their vices and distractions. I want to slap them upside the head and say “Hey stupid! Wake up. Don’t you see you’re killing yourself?! Don’t you see you’re hurting the people around you?! We love you but you have got to do better. You have got to get it together!!!” But I know that will do no good.
There is only one Savior and His name isn’t Taija Jenkins. I know at the end of the day, I can’t keep tryna save a brother that don’t wanna be saved. So I’m forced to sit on the sidelines and watch those I love go through what I feel is unnecessary troubles, drama and destruction and hope and pray to God that they get it together before it’s too late. And that hurts like hell!