All posts by T-Mommy

T-Mommy is the mother of two beautiful daughters and the eternal sidekick to T-Daddy. You can catch her at T4Treasure.com or on Twitter: @T4Treasure4

TB3: Week 16

TB3 is the size of an action figure.

Week 16 was a rough week. I should have known it was gonna be a doozy when I went to wake the girls up and started thinking about how I would feel if they didn’t wake up. Talk about starting your morning off right.

So here it is: the bad and the good of Week 16 – in no particular order.

I Could Have Done Without:

  • High blood pressure – first time ever in my ENTIRE life.
  • My anxiety peaking…again. I broke down and got a therapist. Hopefully, I get a handle on it.
  • Taking the girls to see “Breakthrough.” I get “Mother of the Year” for this one.
  • My granddad having another stroke…then finding out he’s had a series of mini-strokes in the 10 years between this one and his first one.
  • A series of “Oops! My bad.” moments at work.
  • Winter stalking us.
  • Feeling like crap for two whole days and the massive headache that wouldn’t go away.

I Could Get Used To:

  • Fries saving the day…and my head and stomach.
  • Hearing the baby’s heartbeat. It was way easier to find and louder than the last.
  • Spring telling Winter to “Hit the Road Jack!'”
  • A friend gifting me her glider to replace my broken one. I can’t wait to sit in it and stare out my front window.
  • Feeling TB3 flutter for the first time.

So there you have it – Week 16 was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad week. But tomorrow is a new day…and the start of a new week.

TB3: Week 15

TB3 is the size of a box of crayons.

Week 15 started out with the best news ever – I have a belly buddy due one day after me!!! It’s not someone I’m especially close with, but I do see them pretty regularly. Between work and church and friends, it just feels pretty amazing to be surrounded by so many pregnant ladies.

Apparently, my belly has officially popped to the world because the recurring comment this week was some version of “Oh look, you have a belly now. How cute!!!” As I struggle to bend down these days, “now” feels like it happened weeks ago. But, I do love being able to share this journey with people. And I don’t even mind people asking to rub my belly. (Though I’m still waiting to actually feel kicks.)

The hardest part about this week has been the sheer exhaustion. I’m not tired all the time like the first trimester. Thank goodness! But everything takes so much out of me. I haven’t quite figured out how to pace myself to make my energy lasts for longer spurts. Once I’ve hit a wall, I’m pretty much emotionally and physically useless. So grateful for the grace being shown in my house right now. (Lots of chores and cooking being mailed in these days.)

Pregnancy brain is also becoming more and more real. I texted a friend asking, “How did I not know this was happening?” She very lovingly responded, “We talked about this on Thursday. I love you.” So to everyone else, I apologize in advance for all the things I will inevitably forget. My memory is officially untrustworthy till further notice.

Tomorrow starts a new week and I can’t wait. Ok. Really, I’m just anxiously waiting for those kicks and flutters.

TB3: Week 14

TB3 is the size of a troll doll.

Troll doll
Including because childhood nostalgia.

This week went by super fast. So fast in fact that I barely even realized it went by. I won’t complain though because it brought quite a few wins with it:

  • TD2 is recovering well from her surgery. She had a few play dates, went back to school. She seems to be adjusting to her “new voice” quite well.
  • We finally got the car situation figured out. I’m the proud owner of a new-to-me minivan. And T-Daddy is somewhere in the #HappyWifeHappyLife camp, but still swearing he’s never driving “that thing.” Apparently, the only thing he hates more than minivans are boybands. Our date night later this month is going to be really interesting when he accompanies his very preggo wife to the B2K reunion concert.
  • Having two of my major worries pretty much taken care of means that my anxiety is back to normal pregnancy levels.
  • I am generally feeling good these days.
  • The sun is out!!

While Week 14 came with the wins, it also came with the realization that my stomach is huge (to/for me). I spent a few days bending over and getting low and paid severely for it. Also, trying to tie my shoes or put on shoes for that matter, is straight up the devil. I am sooooo ready for flip flop season. Maybe that will force me to find time for that pedicure I’ve been promising myself. I may have also caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror before bed one night and barely recognized the stomach staring back at me. I took a pic of it and sent it to KB, who was surprised that I was 14 weeks pregnant, but refused to tell me how pregnant she thought I was, just that maybe there’s more than 1 in there after all. Followed by “I’m just trying to help.”

And that’s just one more reason I love my friends. I’ll never know if she really thought my stomach was huge or not, but she at least let me live in the moment. Which is huge for me. Because these days, I do feel huge.* I’m staring at my belly every time I walk past the mirror, thinking how much bigger it’s gotten since the last time I looked at it. And the truth is, it is getting bigger and it is huge…for me. Even when I have a gazillion people telling me how small I am compared to how big they were when they were at this stage.

So thanks KB for letting me go on and on about my big (to me) belly and indulging me.

*Watching my belly grow and feeling the baby kick are the two most wonderful things about pregnancy to me. Right now, it’s uncomfortable and, at times, painful. But I love it. Yes, I wish it was less painful, but I thoroughly enjoy rubbing my round belly and anxiously waiting to feel those first flutters.

TB3: Week 13

TB3 is the size of a matchbox car.

This week started with the much-anticipated trip to the hospital for TD2’s surgery. I’ve had so much anxiety leading up to this surgery, so as you can guess, much of this week has been focused on TD2. Her surgery did go very well, so I am so relieved. And she is already hearing and breathing better, so this mama is resting easy knowing T-Daddy and I made the right call. I spent lots of time cuddling and catering to her and just being thankful that everything turned out okay. Thanks everyone for your prayers and well wishes!

The other big focus this week has been trying to get a car. We’ve been very blessed that the Focus hasn’t left us stranded in the middle of the street yet. Although, I did think we were going to get stranded on the expressway. On the way to the hospital, the “Check Engine” light started flashing. We pulled over, cut the car off and prayed that we could just get to the hospital in time for her surgery. Luckily, we made it there and back. We haven’t really left the house or our neighborhood too much to test it, other than a few dealerships to look at cars.

Speaking of which – did you know that car shopping with kids is a whole thing? 1. They’re very restless and impatient. But, 2. It allowed us to actually visualize ourselves in the car. Between the Focus being on life support and being a Focus, we know we need a new car before the baby comes. Otherwise, I’m risking having another baby in a car on the side of the road. And, having nowhere to fit all three of the kids. TD2 will be sitting on TD1’s lap inside a booster. So yeah, we need a bigger car. It’s surprising how bigger doesn’t always equal roomier though. I was surprised at the amount of leg room TD2 didn’t have in some of the cars we looked at. And, she’s my peanut. So if her legs are cramped now. I can only imagine what it’s going to be like later on.

Between playing nurse/pillow and looking at cars, I haven’t had much time to focus on pregnancy. Which I’m okay with. The fact that I could “forget” I was pregnant for a few days has actually been a bit of a relief. I think I’m finally in the upswing of pregnancy. I even went and did some light yard work since the weather was nice. Take that pregnancy!

Week 13 you weren’t half-bad.

TB3: Week 12

TB3 is the size of a toy soldier.

The end of Week 11 bled into the beginning of this week. I came down with a very bad headache that lasted for about 2.5 days before just ending on its own. It pretty much took me out of the picture the entire time. Luckily, I came back around in time for TD2’s Popeyes Party and to celebrate my birthday.

As I come to the end of my first trimester, I’m starting to feel a little more settled. The general yuckiness of pregnancy has pretty much subsided. I’m not as worried about making things work with childcare and work. There’s still a lot to figure out, but I feel like I have a better handle on things now.

I did miss prenatal yoga again this week (that’s like 4 weeks in a row, but who’s counting). I’m a little bummed that between my schedule and not feeling well, I haven’t been able to stick to it, but I’m going to keep trying each week. Next week will be a play-it-by-ear situation as it really depends on how TD2 is recovering from her surgery, but I am determined to return for sure the week after that. Wish me luck!!!

Tomorrow is the start of a new week and a new trimester. Even though TD2 has her surgery tomorrow, she’s most excited that the baby is changing (new week, new size) on the same day. Can’t lie – I’m pretty excited to see what TB3 will be the size of next, too.

 

TB3: Week 11

TB3 is about the size of a poker chip.

Wow!! What a week Week 11 turned out to be. It kicked off with Volunteer Appreciation Night at my job. It was a really fun night and my first time attending as a staff member. I’m still not sure who thought it was a good idea to have the pregnant woman serve food, but hey. All I know is that sour cream never smelled so good. Not sour cream on a burrito bowl, just plain sour cream in a big bowl. No, I didn’t eat any, if you’re wondering.

I’m almost out of the first trimester, so things are starting to level off. Well, at least my nausea did. Everything else just played ping pong with me. There were multiple days of just not feeling well – achy, short of breath, headaches, lethargy. All the fun things. And speaking of headaches, my not-technically-a-migraine-but-still-as-fun back-of-the-head headaches from my accident almost two years ago are back. Only this time, I don’t get to take the good stuff to knock me out and make me forget that nothing actually helps the pain.

Daylight Savings Time was also very hard on me. I still don’t think I bounced back from losing that hour of sleep. And I’m still not convinced it was just an hour I lost either. Feels like the clocks jumped forward 12 hours.

I was starting to feel a little less overwhelmed, but I guess life decided to take that as a challenge to make things more exciting because by the end of this week, I just wanted to crawl under my covers and not come out. In fact, I may have done that one day. I’m still not sure what triggered it, but I had a pretty bad panic attack on my day off and could barely pull myself out of bed. I’m still not sure how I managed to get the girls to school, at all, and make it to work that night, but God!!! And He even sent a few angels this way to check in on me. I’m constantly amazed at the women who just pop in with a “But honey, how are you really doing?” when I need it the most. It’s a really small gesture, but it lets me know I’m not alone. And sometimes, that’s exactly what I need to keep going in the moment.

This week ended with my visit to my midwife. We had the girls with us because 1. logistics and 2. they wanted to hear the baby’s heartbeat. No big deal, right? Until we get there and apparently I’m due for a pap smear. Awwwwwkward. We decided to do the fun part first then send everyone to the lobby to wait while I got checked for all the lady parts cancer.

Only the fun part, didn’t start off so fun and we ended up getting an ultrasound about 9 weeks earlier than we planned. Don’t worry TB3 is fine – s/he just didn’t want to be heard or seen. Moving baby plus a retroverted uterus apparently equals “Let’s play Hide-and-Seek.” We couldn’t find the baby to hear the heartbeat on the fetal doppler, so we had to go across the room to try to find the baby via ultrasound. Which also took a while. Then we saw it – a tiny little “monster vampire baby.” Thanks TD2 for that description. We saw the head, eyes, and heart (well they did. I never did see that heart flutter).

And yes, there was only one. Sorry everyone that was hoping for twins. Maybe God will bless you with an abundance of bundles of joy of your own.

TB3: Week 10

TB3 is about the size of a LEGO mini-figure.

My emotions are not letting up. This was another emotionally hard week for me. In fact, I actually hit a wall one day and had to fight back crying in the office in front of everyone.

I also started having nosebleeds this week. I’ve been flirting with them for a few weeks and they finally came. I had them when I was pregnant with TD1, but not TD2, so I wasn’t sure if they were going to show, but here they are.

I’m still super hungry. I think I’m eating at least every two hours, if not more. And I may or may not have had fries delivered to me at work. Not my proudest moment. On another occasion, I had a friend call to ask me if I wanted her to bring me fries. One of my happiest moments, for sure.

I went for a long walk with a friend on my off day. We talked about pregnancy, friend stuff and everything in between. It felt really nice to be out and moving and just sharing with someone. I really needed that time together…and working out. Speaking of working out, I missed my yoga class because I wasn’t feeling well and it really bummed me out. It’s the second week in a row I had to miss, and I have an obligation next week so I’ll miss that one too. I’m not happy about missing so many weeks because this was something I told myself I was going to commit to doing for me.

Also, my good friend anxiety is starting to come back around as I start feeling the pressure again to figure out our childcare situation and my work schedule once TB3 is here. That, plus the emotions of scheduling TD2’s ear tube/adenoid surgery has me over here on the biggest emotional rollercoaster. I also noticed that I keep adding the qualifier “I know I’m pregnant” whenever I talk about my emotions or thoughts as if they’re not valid on their own. I need to work on that. If it’s pregnancy hormones getting the best of me, so what. I am pregnant, right?

This pregnancy is already 1/4 of the way done. Man time flies.</p>

TB3: Week 9

TB3 is about the size of a jack.

This week was my church’s annual Girls Night Out. It was a phenomenal night, and I had the pleasure of serving with an all-girl crew. A huge milestone for our church and production in general. I also went out with some of the moms afterward. I tried to hang with the big girls and ended up with a horrible sugar hangover. So much for trying to fit in with my mocktail.
I also had TR’s funeral and it just left me with so many emotions listening to the things that people had to say about her. 1. It’s mind-blowing that her funeral was standing room only. To leave behind a legacy that impactful at such a young age is amazing. It makes me wonder what am I leaving behind to TD1 and TD2 – and even TB3. Am I instilling in them the foundation they need to be just as impactful in their own right?
Emotionally, Week 9’s word is loneliness and distrust. It’s becoming harder for me to become really vulnerable with the people around me. I found out some things about some friends that really hurt and sent me into a spiral, which caused me to question my emotions. I don’t trust them and am constantly asking myself, “Is this me or the pregnancy talking?” I can tell this isn’t T-Daddy’s first rodeo because whenever I talk to him, his response is always “Babe if that’s how you feel, I think that’s very valid.”
I forgot how much of a Jedi mind trick pregnancy can be.

TB3: Week 8

TB3 is about the size of a 2×2 LEGO brick.

I can’t believe that we’ve known for a whole month now….seems so crazy how much time has passed since that first morning staring at that stick.
My nausea didn’t let up this week, but I am feeling a little less anxious. Let’s hope that continues into the next week.
This week has been a bit rough on me, emotionally. I found out that someone I knew as a teen died. She was 32 and I’m turning 32 in about a month, so it really just put things into perspective. I also found out that my childhood pastor died a few days after Christmas. I can’t believe that no one told us until now, especially how close my family was to everyone at the church. It was also a really tough week at work. Just one of those weeks where you just really need to unwind because it’s so much hitting you at once. So I decided to take prenatal yoga at my favorite yoga studio. Then, I treated myself to a night out afterwards. Totally out of my comfort zone, but I also knew that I wasn’t in the right headspace to go home to T-Daddy and the TDs. I didn’t want to take out my frustrations on them. I would not have been a happy mama.
Also, this week: I tried to be cute and wear a dress. When I say it was so tight on my stomach and hips, I’m surprised I was able to breathe or walk. And apparently, it showed off my baby bump, which is probably the only plus. Guess I’ll be upgrading my wardrobe sooner rather than later because I am officially over jeans and the constant buttoning and unbuttoning that comes with pregnancy.

TB3: Week 7

TB3 is about the size of a playing die.

Week 7 was not very kind to me. I’m still tired. Will it ever end? I feel like I can’t get enough sleep. The fatigue and nausea are horrible. In addition to that, I got really sick over the weekend and had to leave work early. I really don’t want to be that pregnant woman. I still got a long way to go. Pregnancy canNOT take me out now.
I talked to a friend to try to get an idea of some creative maternity/back to work ideas since I have some flexibility and it did not go the way I expected. Instead of walking away with a solid plan, I walked away with the advice “Stop thinking about it.” It didn’t really give me the peace of mind I was expecting.
On top of that, the Focus almost died this week. I’m pretty sure I lost it. We have a new baby on the way and now the car decided it wanted to act a fool. (To be fair, it was already acting a fool and has been very good to me despite the how cruel the world has been to it.) T-Daddy and I knew we were gonna need a new car before the baby came, but worst case scenario, we were ready to tough it out in a compact sedan. But I have no idea how we’re going to buy a car right now. The dealership was able to buy us hopefully a few more months with the car, but the constant squeaks and grinding have me paranoid.
On top of that, I had to buy silicone rings because my fingers are swollen and I couldn’t get my wedding band on.
This OCD control freak is feeling the need to control all the things. Let’s hope Week 8, which starts tomorrow, treats me better.