*looking at belly support bands* TD2: What’s that? Me: Pregnancy support bands. When you’re pregnant, your belly grows and things get moved around and sometimes that can hurt a little. Hopefully, these will help Mommy with some of the pain I’m feeling. TD1: Mommy, because you’re pregnant, I think you should buy bigger clothes.
TD1 is in a Pre-K/K mixed class, so imagine my surprise when after school, the following convo took place:
TD1: Mommy, Ariel* and Belle* have a crush on Charming*. T-Mommy: Oh really, and how do you know that? TD1: I don’t know. T-Mommy: Do you know what a crush is? TD1: No. T-Mommy: So how do you know that they have something if you don’t know what that something is? *a minute of going back and forth* TD1: Okay, I do know. I just didn’t want to tell you in case you would be mad. T-Mommy: Okay, so what do you know? TD1: I know they have a crush on Charming because Ariel and Belle always tell Charming “I love you” and Aurora* told me they have a crush on Charming. T-Mommy: And what does that mean? Do you know what it means to have a crush on someone? TD1: It means you love them.
Are we there yet? I thought I had at least another 100 years before we were there. Why are we there already? Also, I googled crush and Google’s definition did NOT make this convo any easier…..we’ll go with when you like someone a lot as opposed to “a brief but intense infatuation for someone, especially someone unattainable or inappropriate.” That’s way too many big girl emotions I’m not ready for. Can we just go back to the days of cooing and baby gibberish?
*names have been changed to protect the innocent because who doesn’t love Disney characters.
*a few weeks ago* TD1: whining Me: You want some cheese to go with that whine? TD1: *stops whining* what? Why you ask me that? Me: *explains the whole cheese and wine/whine thing*
*tonight* TD1: *singing* You want some cheese with that whine? You want some cheese with that whine? You want some cheese with that whine? *stops singing* Hey Mom, since I don’t like cheese I think you should say, “Do you want some pizza with that whine?” because pizza has cheese. Get it? *starts singing* You want some pizza cheese with that whine?
One day TD1 came up to me and told me that I wasn’t her real mom. Her real mom (Invisible Mom) lived in her Invisible World and TD1 came here through her Invisible Mirror. In Invisible World, TD1 is really 8 years old (coming through the Invisible Mirror made her 4.5), and things are quite different than they are here in the real world. These are TD1’s adventures as told by her.“
In my Invisible World, everyone only eats candy and fish because that’s all that’s healthy there. But I’m allergic to fish, so I can’t eat it. Everyone else eats it though. I just eat candy because that’s all that’s healthy in my Invisible World. I’m only allergic to big fish though, so if my Invisible Mom cuts it into really small pieces I can eat it. I’m not allergic to small fish, just the big fish and I really like it in my Invisible World.”
TD1: My real mom and dad are invisible. I was invisible and then I came here through an invisible mirror.
Me: Oh really? When did you come through the mirror?
TD1: When I was 5.
Me: But you’re 4 now.
TD1: Yeah, I got younger when I went through the invisible mirror and now I’m not five here but in the invisible world I’m really 5 and my real parents are invisible too. And my invisible mom is nice. She lets me eat all the candy I want and I’m happy because it doesn’t give me cavities. I never have cavities in my real life. But Mom?
Me: Yes sweetie?
TD1: My invisible dad is mean. He yells at my invisible mom and pushes her and bites her. So I put him in timeout for four minutes because he’s four and then he eats all his food and get bigger and bigger and then he forgets and yells at invisible mom again and bites her and pushes her because invisible Daddy is mean.
Me: That is mean. It’s a good thing that Daddy isn’t your invisible Daddy and he’s nice to you.
TD1: But he’s not my real daddy. My real Mommy and Daddy are invisible like me. But I came through the invisible mirror so you can see me but not them.
Last Monday, the TDs were out of school, so we went to the library. They had a fun, free concert and then TD1 wanted to check out books. (Apparently, she’s a pro at the whole process because her class regularly visits the library.) While we were there, the following convos took place.
TD1: This book’s not English.
T-Mommy: No, it’s Polish.
TD1: Why’s it Polish?
T-Mommy: Because you picked up the Polish version.
TD1: All the other ones not English?
T-Mommy: They are. You picked the English version for the other books.
TD1: Good, because I don’t like not English. I don’t know how to read it.
T-Mommy: I see. Well you can learn how to read Polish.
TD1: What’s this one? This one English?
T-Mommy: No, it’s Spanish. I forgot [TD2] picked this one.
TD1: Cuz her need to learn Spanish.
T-Mommy: Yes, SHE needs to learn Spanish. You do too.
TD1: Good, she need learn all her Spanish. I don’t. I already know how to read. *walks off*
*playing Dora on the computer*
TD1: Mommy, how do I get to the cooking one? I need you to take me to the cooking one. I need the cooking one. I gotta practice for my cooking class and I gonna get SO MAD if I can’t practice cuz I love my cooking class!
The other day, I was trying to put up book bags and get us ready for movie night when I heard THE death scream. I went running into the girls’ bathroom to make sure no one fell in the toilet or got eaten by any Aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh! Real Monsters.
T-Mommy: What’s wrong?
TD1: [TD2] flushed the potty and I wanted to do it!!!
T-Mommy: Well sweetie, sometimes things we don’t want to happen, happens. When it does, you can either cry about it or do something about it and make it better. So, Tové flushed the potty, what can you do about it to make it better?