Tag Archives: Growing Up

Orbital Fears

Last Friday, TD1 had a Cosmic Skating Girl Scout outing. Originally, we planned to go as a foursome since one T-Parent is a GS Mom and the other T-Parent is a skater. Divide and conquer.

Life happened and it ended up being just me and TD1 going. I was a little disappointed – this would have been perfect bonding time for TD1 and T-Daddy, but I had this. TD1 would skate and I’d walk beside her with one of those parent helper things to make sure she didn’t fall. We got there, saw some of our friends and walked in. All good so far.

We got TD1’s skates, laced her up and she was ready to go. Except she wasn’t.

She could barely stand without going down. I thought T-Daddy taught her how to skate. This is going to be interesting. And, she refused to use a walker.*

T-Mommy: Excuse me, can I go out there with my shoes on?
Skate Center Employee: No, only skates are allowed in the rink.

This is going to be a loooooong night. What happened to being able to walk on the floor? I thought parents could walk beside their kids?** Why didn’t I tell T-Daddy to go and I just stay home? What am I gonna do now? *fights back tears* Is it too late to leave and just sit this out?

I must have recited my answer a dozen times: No, I’m not skating. I haven’t skated in like 15-20 years, cringing each time the words came out. One of TD1’s fellow older Girl Scouts offered to go out on the floor with her. I hesitantly agreed. Three seconds later, I regretted it. TD1 was going to bring her down. I watched in horror for the next 10 minutes or so as adults and Girl Scouts – same age and older – offered to help TD1 skate around the rink. Each time, she took off like cannon, arms flailing and legs buckling. I finally decided that I couldn’t expect others to carry this burden. I slowly walked up to the counter.

T-Mommy: Do you have some rollerblades with brakes?

After a few misunderstandings, I finally got a pair of rollerblades in my size that had a brake. I slowly laced them up, bracing myself for the humiliation that awaited me. What if I fall…in front of everyone? They’re all going to be laughing and think I’m just the lamest, saddest person ever. Who agrees to take their daughter on a skating outing when THEY CAN’T SKATE!!!???

I asked for a walker and nervously made my way onto the floor. Not so bad. I went around a few times watching people still struggle to help TD1 without going down themselves. As I got more comfortable, I was able to convince TD1 to use a walker herself, and we spent the night skating around together. “I’m okay!!”, she shouted each time she went down. Then she got up and took off faster than the last time. At some point, she left me with her walker and one of her friends to skate by themselves.

Fearless. Fast. Relentless. Determined. Those were the words being used to describe this little six-year-old who didn’t let the fact that she apparently had never learned to skate stop her from having fun with her friends. She had one goal in sight: being able to keep up with her friends. And, she didn’t care how many times she had to fall or run into the sides to make it happen.

Here I was with my fears of falling and looking clumsy in front of other people orbiting around my mind to the point that I was ready to call it a night. Meanwhile, my daughter was living her life…unapologetically might I add. Talk about children leading the way. TD1 definitely led me all the way around the skating rink that night. And I’m grateful for it. I ended up having a blast and can’t wait to go back. Maybe even tonight.

*Apparently, it’s not a walker, it’s a skate trainer. I think walker sounds cooler.
**I later found out that I wasn’t crazy. The skating rink hosts a Super Tot Play n’ Skate session on Saturdays and parents are allowed to go on the floor with their gym shoes on. This does not apply to Cosmic Skating.

TD1’s Truly Outrageous 6th Birthday

Yesterday, TD1 turned six and we celebrated with  a Jem and the Holograms themed birthday party. Party guests received “VIP Passes” and were encouraged to wear their best rockstar gear. It was “Truly Outrageous!” That phrase might be stuck in my head for a while now.

TD1 was very adamant about inviting her entire class and all her friends, so we had a huge party with our family and her friends from church and school. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that meant LOTS of kids. As the days fast approached, I could feel my anxiety exploding inside of me. Would I be able to handle so many kids in one place at one time? Will everyone get along okay? Is it going to be awkward having a party at the church? Did I invite everyone I was supposed to? Are we going to be able to pull this off in two hours? What am I forgetting? What can I delegate? Who can I ask for help? What am I forgetting? Am I crazy for doing this? What am I forgetting? I made checklists and sticky notes and notes inside apps and I still couldn’t stop the spiral.

Momfession: I wanted to cancel the party. Our life right now has been disrupted in quite a few ways (good, bad and just is-what-it-is), and we’re trying to adjust to a new normal. But TD1 asked for this party. It’s all she wanted for her birthday. She’s been so excited, helping me create the invitations, pick out pictures and costumes and giving her input along the way. This was her party. So as much as I wanted to throw in the towel, my mom heart wouldn’t let me. I’m glad too. Seeing the smile on her face throughout the day made it all worth it. A very special thank you to everyone that helped with the planning, implementation and cleanup and to everyone that came out to celebrate with us. YOU GUYS ROCK!!!

The night before her big day, we were getting ready for bed and I was giving my usual hugs and kisses when it hit me. Tomorrow, I will no longer have a five-year-old. She will be six.

T-Mommy: This is your last hug as a five-year-old. Tomorrow, you’ll be six. How does it feel?
TD1: Good and confusing.
T-Mommy: Why confusing?
TD1: Because it came too fast.
T-Mommy: I feel the same way. *super big hug*

Yes, six came waaaayyy too fast. In a matter of weeks, TD1 lost her first two teeth and celebrated another birthday. She’s planning sleepovers with her classmates, talking to me about babies being born, natural disasters and people dying, trying to read everything, and having an opinion about everything. I’m watching her use her reasoning and deduction skills, practice running and exercise moves so she can be better and faster, and become more self-aware. She’s really practicing listening to her body and knowing what she needs emotionally, physically and mentally. She’s stepping up to look out for her sister. She’s being an all-around awesome human. I wish I could say it was all me and T-Daddy, but it’s not. TD1 has an awesome community of adults and children that love her and are helping to encourage awesome character traits and beliefs. The same goes for TD2. And it’s never been more evident than these last few weeks leading up to her big day.

Six isn’t a milestone birthday (unless it’s a golden birthday), but somehow this birthday seemed to be a huge milestone birthday for us. It was like a unique rite of passage for TD1. One that is a tinge bittersweet, yet abundantly joyous.

From Baby Tooth to Dream Dust

A month and a half ago, I wrote about the wiggly tooth that really was wiggly. Since then, TD1 has been wiggling and wiggling till she had a permanent “my tooth is about to come out” gap. I didn’t think she would make it to the first day of school.

She did.

The tooth even managed to survive her not-so-fun fall out of her chair earlier this week. Friday, she was able to make a 90-degree angle with her tooth, but it was still holding on.

Then it wasn’t.

I came back from running errands Saturday afternoon.

TD2: Mommy, [TD1’s] tooth came out!!! You have to see this!
T-Mommy: No way! [TD1] is this true?
TD1: Yup!
T-Mommy: It just fell out?
TD1: No, I wiggled it out.
T-Mommy: How did that happen?
TD1: Well, I was wiggling it to help it fall out and it got stuck so I had to *motions with hands* and it just came out.

TD1 lost her first baby tooth!

She showed me her tooth that she put in her special Tooth Fairy can so it wouldn’t get lost. I was not ready for how cute it looked. Actually, I’m a little creeped out by all the feels I felt towards this now dead body part.

I had a few more errands to run before church, so I promised her we’d work on her Tooth Fairy letter after church. Of course, she went straight to sleep after church. Does this mean the Tooth Fairy should wait or still come tonight? While I was pondering what the Tooth Fairy would do, she woke up and I reminded her we had work to do. This letter wouldn’t write itself!

True to her nature, TD2 was super excited and couldn’t stop herself from looking at TD1’s tooth, causing her to temporarily lose it while TD1 was writing her letter. Thank God that TD2 has awesome memory and eyesight better than both her parents. Level 1000 tantrum averted!

We wrote our letter and went to bed. While we were sleeping, the Tooth Fairy visited TD1 and left her a dream dust-covered letter.

TD1: I think next time we should write her a letter that says “Thank you for writing me and leaving me a special $2. I LOVE IT!”

And just like that, my baby is growing up.

Wiggle Wiggle

Backstory: Last year, the dentist said that one of TD1’s teeth was becoming loose and she’d probably lose it in the next year or so. He said it wasn’t noticeable, but just giving us a heads up. Six months later, he said the same tooth was getting even looser and he wouldn’t be surprised if it came out before her birthday.

Fast forward to yesterday.

*On the way home from her cousin’s birthday celebration*
TD1: Mommy, you know my wiggly tooth? It’s getting more wiggly. And when I get back to school, I’m going to show all my friends. They’re going to be so excited.I tho
T-Mommy: Oh really? When we get home, you’ll have to show me too. I want to see it wiggle.

Then she continued with several “what-if” scenarios about this tooth coming out – before she gets back to school, in her sleep, while she’s brushing her teeth, in her throat, etc.

We get home and she brings me some books to read while T-Daddy is making some dinner. I get a little teary-eyed at the fact that she’s actually reading most of the words, and trying to sound out the ones she doesn’t know. Who is this girl? Just yesterday, we were trying to teach her letters, now she’s reading WHOLE words?!!??! Later, as I’m putting up the food, she reminds me that I never looked at her wiggle tooth.

So she showed me.

​And. I. Was. NOT. Ready. Her tooth is noticeably, visibly, no-denying-it loose. She can wiggle it. I can wiggle it. It wiggles. It’s going to come out. And she’s going to get an adult tooth in it’s place. I thought she was being overly anxious. I thought it was all in her head and she was going to show me this wiggling tooth that’s in fact not wiggling much at all. I. WAS. WRONG.

So, let’s recap: in one hour, I realized that my firstborn had moved beyond the occasional word reading/memorization to reading a book mostly on her own AND she’s on the brink of losing her first tooth. Mommy meltdown in 5…4…3…2…1…

T-Talks: Crush

TD1 is in a Pre-K/K mixed class, so imagine my surprise when after school, the following convo took place:

TD1: Mommy, Ariel* and Belle* have a crush on Charming*.
T-Mommy: Oh really, and how do you know that?
TD1: I don’t know.
T-Mommy: Do you know what a crush is?
TD1: No.
T-Mommy: So how do you know that they have something if you don’t know what that something is?
*a minute of going back and forth*
TD1: Okay, I do know. I just didn’t want to tell you in case you would be mad.
T-Mommy: Okay, so what do you know?
TD1: I know they have a crush on Charming because Ariel and Belle always tell Charming “I love you” and Aurora* told me they have a crush on Charming.
T-Mommy: And what does that mean? Do you know what it means to have a crush on someone?
TD1: It means you love them.

😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳

Are we there yet? I thought I had at least another 100 years before we were there. Why are we there already? Also, I googled crush and Google’s definition did NOT make this convo any easier…..we’ll go with when you like someone a lot as opposed to “a brief but intense infatuation for someone, especially someone unattainable or inappropriate.” That’s way too many big girl emotions I’m not ready for. Can we just go back to the days of cooing and baby gibberish?

*names have been changed to protect the innocent because who doesn’t love Disney characters.

TD1 Turns 5


Yesterday, TD1 turned 5 and we celebrated by taking a road trip to Indiana. Though, to be honest, the celebration actually started on Thursday. I went to her school to read a story with her to her class. Then we sang and danced and TD1 passed out the treats we made. Later, some friends and family came over to sing happy birthday and eat cupcakes.

We were supposed to go to Nashville (Brown County), Indiana, but never made it because nothing goes as planned with T4. Instead we ended up going to White River State Park in Indianapolis and getting pizza. For a brief second, I was bummed that we didn’t get to celebrate the way I had planned, but I was later reminded that some of the best things in life aren’t always planned. *cough cough TD1 cough cough*

TD1 5 BdayWe had uninterrupted family time sprinkled with a basket full of candy and TD1 got to call a lot of shots. In her words, “My birthday is awesome!” We laughed and were silly together and on the drive home, it hit me: T-Daddy and I have a FIVE year-old!!!!

It’s hard to believe that five years have passed since I gave birth to this little one. She has changed my life in so many ways and I love watching her go through life. She’s smart and independent and loves helping others. It may sound cliche, but she really does make me want to be a better person. I want to be a good example of the type of woman she should aspire to be. I am also proud of who she has already become. I wish I could take all the credit, but I can’t. She’s her own person and she makes her own choices daily. And she’s managed to survive five years of having T-Daddy and me as her parents.

Happy Five Years TD1!!!!

Bye Bye Fishie

When TD2 turned two, my loving aunt decided to get the girls a fish for TD2’s birthday. It was a Betta fish and she was kind enough to provide the tank and food. Still, I protested. “If the girls didn’t scream my name, I’d forget to feed them. There’s no way imma be able to take care of this fish.”

Fast forward 16 months and we were doing good. Until we went to Nebraska last month. We were only gone 2 days, but as soon as we got back, one of the first things I did was feed Fishie (TD2 named it).

“Baaaaaaabe!!!! Come here. Fishie doesn’t look too good.” 

For the first time since having Fishie thrust in our lives, I felt something. I immediately began googling to see what was wrong with him. At 11:53 p.m. on a Friday, I raced to a new Walmart (because our regular one didn’t have what I needed) to get some medicine and a different kind of food to help a fish I had never been emotionally invested in start to feel better. The tears were beginning to well up in my chest. Oh God! The girls are gonna be so sad. God please let this work.

Over the next three days, he began to look better. I woke up Tuesday and raced to the fish tank. It had become a part of my morning routine and I was eager to see how much Fishie had improved. He hadn’t. He had regressed to the point of no coming back. I told T-Daddy and then I just kind of kept staring at the tank, hoping I could will him back to life.

When the girls woke up, T-Daddy and I decided to tell them together and give him a proper flushing before T-Daddy left for work.
T-Mommy: Girls, Mommy and Daddy have something very important to tell you.

T-Daddy: It’s also very sad.
TD1: What is it?
T-Mommy: When Mommy woke up this morning, Fishie…
TD1: Died? I wanna see.
TD2: Me too!!

img_6701
NOT Fishie. May he R.I.P.

The TDs seemed entirely a little too enthusiastic about seeing a dead fish. TD1 asked if we could bury it in the backyard instead of flush it. When I told her that we didn’t have a backyard to do so, she wanted to bury it in the park. We attempted to go to the park later that day and the next, but we never made it. I flushed Fishie on our way out the next morning and we had a short moment of silence.

Every so often, TD1 will tell me, “Mommy, I sad our fish died. Can we get another one?” “Yes, sweetie we will. Mommy’s sad too!”

And We’re Baaaaack….to School Again

Monday, the TDs started school. The fact that it’s Thursday and I’m just writing about their first day should be a good indicator of how it went…..busy….and exhausting!

I definitely was not ready. I felt like the summer went by too fast. I still wanted to do things with them. Fun things like trips and the beach and trips downtown. Emotionally, it was no big deal. They’ve both been in daycare since they were 3 months and we started “real” school last year.

I spent the week before failing at getting us on a schedule to prepare us for getting back in the swing of things. No changes to the uniform and I’d washed and hung uniform clothes months ago. We ordered school supplies through the school and they were shipped there. Book bags were bought. They just needed a few minor items – lunch box, water bottles, snacks. We were all good to go!

Then Monday happened. And I realized just how not good to go we really were. Several of TD1’s uniform items are missing. And they happen to be the items that have to be specially ordered from the uniform store and currently are on back order. Yay us! Maroon leggings and shorts (non-logo or branded) are the bane of my existence right now. Seriously, does anyone make or sell them??? We ran into this problem last year, which caused us to stock up whenever we found them in the girls’ sizes. Guess what’s mysteriously missing now….

Despite an early bedtime, the girls did not want to wake up. Grumbles of “Why do we have to go to school?” were repeated throughout breakfast and getting dressed.

timetoschool16Then they were dressed and we had about 10 min for pictures and to get them in their respective classrooms. And that’s when it hit me. During that quick 2 min photoshoot when TD1 was posing and telling me which shots I had to get. My daughters are big girls.

TD1 is a kindergartner this year. Gone is her cubby. Replaced by a hook to hang things now. Her classroom even looks big kiddish. TD2 is still in preschool, but she’s moved up. She’s in TD1’s old classroom. They have recess together, but they don’t eat lunch together anymore.

After I dropped them off, I spent my day trying to acquire the lost items that have fallen into the invisible black hole. Then it was time to pick them up. TD1 excitedly ran to me. “Mom, I’m sad that my friends are in a different class than me. I only get to see them at recess.” (By friends, she means a certain group of boys that T-Daddy is happy to have her separated from. I think someone may have had a talk with the office.) Then, we walked to TD2’s class where she was knocked out. TD1 ran straight to her and started rubbing her and trying to put a pillow under her to make her more comfortable.

I picked up TD2 and two of us walked, while one was carried, to the car – on our way to acquire more lost items. Man, I really aced this being prepared thing this year. Ten min later, I pull up to the uniform store with two sleeping kids. I woke TD1 up and bribed her with ice cream if she walked. She stayed up long enough for me to complete the purchase and get back in the car before it was lights out again.

Happy first day of school TDs!!! School must have worked them hard.