TB3: Week 21

TB3 is the size of a baseball cap. 

Physically, this has been a pretty easy week. I haven’t had one of those in a while so I’ll take it. One of the craziest things has been feeling the baby kick/move. It’s nothing like I remember. It feels like waves and clouds. I know it’s because of the whole anterior placenta thing, but I’m wondering, does it get more intense? 

I walked the Got2Run For Education race and felt it for days. I hadn’t realized how much I had halted all things, but now I want to get back out there. (And to be fair, I also power-walked the day before and power-cleanse the day after the race, so pretty sure my body was just like “slow down girl!”)

While physically this week went easy on me, it definitely brought to light some things I need to get in order before TB3 comes. That’s always a hard reality to face and an even harder one to execute. I was in denial at first, but after spending the last two days being poured into at a conference, I recognize the writing on the wall. While there’s still a lot of frustration and simply just not knowing where to start, there is also a lot of gratitude and appreciation. I’m thankful to be able to get things in order before TB3 comes.

I realize that I’ve been fighting what having this baby really means for our family. On a surface level, I’ve accepted that some things were going to have to change. The TDs need to be more independent. We need childcare. Our budget will have to change. T-Daddy will have to take over some things while I heal after delivery. Everyone around me would have to change. I never really allowed myself to be honest about the ways I’d have to change and what that looks like. Spoiler alert: I have no idea. But I’m grateful to be given the chance to figure it out before it’s critical. I have 18 (as of tomorrow) weeks to come up with a plan and start implementing it. 

If change is a result of growth, then I am excited to grow as a wife and mom and woman. I know God is trying to tell me something and wants to work on me in ways I haven’t let Him before. And whatever comes of that, TB3 will get to experience it wholly. That’s both terrifying and exciting. 

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