This-A Make-A Me Happy

Dinner time with T4 and here’s why:

Since I went back to work 2.5 years ago, I have struggled with my decision to do so. It was always my dream to be a stay-at-home mom. I wanted to raise my kids and give them the solid foundation they needed. I wanted to invest wholeheartedly in them. I didn’t want them to feel that anyone or thing came before them. I didn’t wanna be that workaholic who missed those treasured moments.

Then I got pregnant unplanned. And people talked. And the joy I was supposed to feel was replaced with this ever-burning need to prove myself.

→Prove that my innocent child wasn’t ruining my life.
→Prove that I wasn’t just some non-contributing member of my family laying around, waiting for Todd to take care of me. (Man, the way some people talk about stay-at-home moms is heartbreaking, to say the least.)
→Prove that I wasn’t a failure at life.
→Prove that I could take care of this little person that I had brought into the world despite being told to do otherwise.

So, I went back to work. I had this child that I did not plan, but that was not going to stop me from giving her the world that I wanted her to have. It would just have to be modified.

☆★I want to stop here and say that Todd was 100% on board with whichever decision I made – stay at home or go back to work – so long as our bills were paid. And, our bills would be paid if I stayed at home, but that’s all. There would be no saving, no room for growth. And, if something happened to Todd, I’d be in no position to carry us.★☆

So I went back to work, so we could give our daughter the childhood we wanted her to have. Only I felt like I was failing her. Our commute made for long days and I’d come home tired, then had to cook and off to bed she went. Our only “time” together was in the car.

Even after having another child and going through the routine a second time, I still hadn’t figured it out. I wasn’t giving my children the time and piece of me that I felt they deserved. Rolls on the floor and dance parties were reserved for Saturday’s. There was little time to just sit in the amazingness that is them. Because there’s always something to do.

Then we moved and bought a dining table. And BAM! Instant family time.

This little piece of furniture has added so much to my life in the past month. We went from eating in front of a Netflix-playing TV, not saying one word to each other to sitting around a table talking to each other. And, I love every minute of it. I suddenly feel like I’ve gained extra time with my daughters.

And the best part? Temi insists on leading us in grace every meal.

To keep this little piece of happiness, our table is a device-free zone during meals. No phones, iPad, TV or laptop.

And, this-a make-a me happy! ♡♥

*Don’t mind the shirtless girl who wants her “shirt off like Daddy!”

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